I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
