walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
wow bdsm is so cute
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
