Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
