My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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