I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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