Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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