too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I currently don't understand fingers.
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