I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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