some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
