If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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