if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
