She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
