Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
