put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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