So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
