he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
