what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
