are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
