We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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