yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
