all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
