Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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