im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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