im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
