Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
