we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
