I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she peed on how many people?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
