He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
