1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
