Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
