i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
