I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
