I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
