I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ladies don't puke and tell
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
