Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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