Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
