I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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