need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize