I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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