Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
