the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
