I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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