so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
