Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
