How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This toilet bowl is my home.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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