4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
