tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
