He asked to "fluff my boner.."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
