I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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