Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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