i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
