so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
