i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
