I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
