Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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