She said her name was "party"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
