their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
