just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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