Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
