Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
