I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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