Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
