but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
