There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize