East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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